Great post jaynie!
It's hard isn't it? We have to listen to our own minds toy with us but when someone outside of us says the words we're like little kids jumping up and down with glee if we're not fully dedicated to what we're doing. We don't even need to give ourselves an excuse, someone else will do it for us!
No one understands the plight of an alcoholic or addict like another alcoholic or addict. Non alcoholics and non addicts just don't understand.
We have our own form of brain damage because we like to think that we can moderate until the day comes when we realize that we can't.
In one of my prior long term attempts at sobriety my husband brought up that he wished that I could moderate. That's all it took for me to convince him that I could. Oh yes, I definitely could. We all know where that ended up.
This time, mind made up, no more choice, I was done. It was the beginning of the summer. We were out back in the yard and he began to speak the words "I wish..........." and I looked at him and said "Don't even say it!". This was a man who I had been verbally abusing, every single weekend, for at least the last year. Oh, I did before that but not as often. Even then, after all that I had done, he was willing to bring up moderation. That is the sum total of the lack of understanding that there is for this problem.