Hello,
Sorry if it sounds like my thoughts are scattered all over the place, but here I go. I'm a recovering pothead. Been smoking high grade pot daily for about 5 years, since I was introduced to the drug at the age of 19. I remember the first time I got high and the moments right before taking my first drag out of a rolled dutch, I told myself I would ONLY try it once. Well, after my first time getting high I was instantly hooked to pot. At the time, I was mildly depressed because of a failed relationship and also due to losing my academic scholarship after my first year at university. So, that night when I first got high, I had finally felt happy after a long time of being down.
Along the way I became hooked to nicotine for about 2 years, but it's been about a year since I quit that. I've been addicted to caffeine since I started college. Also, I've tried shrooms but didn't liked it, because I had a pretty bad trip the first time. I remember the horrible feeling of being trapped in my own head. Not being able to talk or think properly for the duration of the trip. It probably didn't help that I partook in smoking two blunts of weed at the same time
but I was stupid and felt invincible at the time.
I struggled throughout college, working full-time as a manager at a cell phone shop to pay for tuition, while going to school part-time. In my last year at university, I started taking Adderall, without a prescription, to study for exams. I was always cautious with it, as I never exceeded 7.5mgs in one day. My average intake was about 3.5mgs, and I only took it to study and take exams. However, about 2 months ago I started misusing the drug and started developing a dependence, as I would take it to feel good in social settings. I also used to mix Adderall and weed, along with caffeine sometimes
I graduated about a month ago and I've vowed to never use drugs again. I feel like I've wasted so much time, energy, and money on these stupid drugs. I feel like a complete loser right now as I'm actually reading what I've written. Growing up, I never saw myself as a drug addict. It's been 33 days since I last took Adderall, 20 days since my last joint, and 17 days since my last energy drink. My anxiety and depression are through the roof right now. Insomnia is kicking my butt. But I pray and meditate a lot, that seems to get me through. I know it's going to be a tough road to recovery, but I know I can do this. I'm ready to live drug free!