So,
Thank you for your post. I am a newbie here. My soon to be exhusband left me a year and a half ago. Originally I thought he was having a midlife crisis, but with therapy and the rose colored glasses coming off, I realize he is an alcoholic. And that his disease is progressing. I have not seen or heard from him--- I put up huge walls and will not let him in.
I thought this made me a terrible person, but I am realizing that total no contact is best for me. I cannot/ will not give him any more of myself.
I realize now that him running away from home was the best gift he could give to me and our sons.