Originally Posted by
dandylion 
BeatleChick--perhaps the reason that people think you have it all together is because you
("control freak"--your words) put on the mask that says you have it all together??.......just saying.....
Actually, none of us have total control of every aspect of our lives. No one who gets married get a gurantee that it will work out---even those without any addictions involved.
I think when we grow up in situations where we feel that we HAVE to control everything to be safe---we carry this erronious--and impossible---belief into our adult lives.
dandylion
Yea. I was a control freak. Not anymore. I don't worry about anything but me and my kids now. Before, it was bad.
I worried that if i let go, my life would crash down. I panicked every day. I was in such a level of stress, my therapist was surprised I was still coping without any meds.
Then one day, with my therapist's help, I simply let go. and I was still alive. and it felt good.
People think I'm strong because I don't sit around crying about my life all day, every day. I take action and do what needs to be done, even when it sucks. I have to control this divorce because I started it. I have to control this house because I am the only adult in it. I have to pay bills, get my ass to work, cook dinner, clean, laundry, etc because my kids deserve that. No one else helps. Is that control or just doing what is needed to be done? I think I just do what needs to happen.
I am strong because I have to be. Sure, I'd love to curl up in a corner and forget about life, but I can't. I have shet to do.
I just get frustrated that because I'm considered strong, no one reaches out. I reach out to them. I have a few friends going through things and I reach out. I had to cut a couple from my life because it wasn't reciprocal.
I used to be a control freak. To the point of anxiety attacks. I haven't had an attack in almost 3 years
I let things flow. I let things fall where they will. I take in information and make decisions in the moment. I'm doin pretty good.