I used to cry myself to sleep, every single night, for months on end because after holding it all together for work, DD & every other duty I had during the day I was just an exhausted mess at the end of the day with barely the energy to drag myself to my own bed.
Don't be afraid to let it out, BeatleChick, you will feel much better even if it changes nothing. Even if you have to do it every single day for months. Let. it. out.
Vent away here on SR - we know, we care, we've BTDT & have shoulders to cry on & stories to share. Consider Al-anon so you can have IRL people there helping in the same way.
No matter how much they wanted to none of my family or friends ever "got it" or provided me any real support until I was well into my crisis. It was so disappointing to me that my own mother, having been through the SAME D@MN thing with my AF, seemed to prefer to stick her head in the ground & never extend an offer of support or ask what was happening in my life. There were times when I seriously thought that she was having a hard time choosing sides between her daughter & ASIL & that almost hurt worse than everything else I was already going through.
((((BUG HUGS))) to you today!!!