Thank you.
I get these delusions of grandeur with him, thinking that MAYBE things could be worked out.
But then I catch myself and scream NO! No it can't work out. He's not even sober or really getting help. WORDS and IDEAS are not reality.
And my biggest fear is falling back into this. Most people i know with addictions tend to get sober just long enough to prove they can do it, prove they aren't 'addicted' any longer and slowly they begin their habit again...because they "have control now".
Bullshet.
I know what is right. I know what I need to do. It just sucks. I get so nervous walking into that courthouse. I'm doing the divorce myself...it's brutal. So many papers! And I think, HOW EASY for him! I'm doing all the work. A-feckin-gain.
Arg. A day of emotions.