I assume she's an alcoholic too? Sounds like you might need to go at this business alone if she's drinking and doing these things. First and foremost is you and your sobriety. And it's totally understandable that you want to pull your hair out right now over that, but I would be careful and try not to get so upset that you're vulnerable to drink again.
I know it's hard but try not to let her have that power over you. Remind yourself that actively-drinking alcoholics are likely to blame everyone and the world around them before they'll take responsibility for anything. =/ Just do what's best for you.
