I defiantly need to find some meeting and a support group, we have fantastic resources out here .. I feel I need to reach out and talk about this with other sober and recovering alcoholics ,, it puts forward that I DO want to quit..I've just never had anyone to really share my feelings with ( other than my husband) who's a drinker , smoker and pothead ) big part of the problem . I do know that I have some very serious big changes I need to make . And need to step up to the plate and get my head out if the sand. I have faith maybe this will be the turnin point finally