The good life
I spent so many years (14) married to a narcissistic alcoholic and have now spent 4 years decompressing from that experience, and I want to share some of what I am experiencing about life post-A.
I moved myself and my kids 200 miles away from the homeplace where my XAH is stuck with his parents in their triangle of codependence.
I have a lot of friends here and a really busy social life. I have three young children so most plans include them, of course. I have re-discovered the dinner party and the company of fun people. I have rediscovered the joy of laughing til your side hurts. I have a special make friend who stops after two glasses of wine and while cooking all day for my party, chooses water to drink. He enjoys a nice margarita but doesn't look for excuses to drink.
He says nice things to me and doesn't pick fights. He sends text messages that make me laugh, and when I said "hearing you talk about X makes me see that Y..."
and he responded "I'm sorry - I should be more sensitive" and I thought "WHAT?!?!" You aspire to be sensitive and not hurt my feelings? If I say I need something, he thinks of a way for me to have it.
When he leaves the house after a dinner party at night, he leaves a playlist on the ipod that he thinks I will like.
He tells me that all the mean things the AX used to say to me are "simply not true."
It's a 180 reversal from anything I'm used to. And it's really, really nice.