You are me 15 years ago. I wish I would have escaped then. My kids are now 21 and 17 and his drinking went from large amount of beers to hard liquor. And it got worse. I spent so much energy trying to "hide" the kids from his behavior. Our mutual friends have disappeared (thank God for mine). Go to Alanon and like others have suggested start putting money away for YOU. For your escape. My husband did detox twice and rehab once. I was hopeful every time. He would be ok for awhile (once for a year) but then he wouldn't work the program and he would stop at the liquor store. The alcohol wins every time. I thought I was supportive by keeping a dry home. But it didn't matter. Our sex life disappeared. Can't respect someone that acts like a child. Me. Me. Me. His addiction is all that matters. I have not taught my kids how to have a healthy relationship with alcohol such as a glass of wine with dinner. All they saw was an extreme with my husband. I am looking at a separation now. 25 years.