Thank you dandelion! Your post and Wolfpack's are why I joined this forum. Because most people have been thoughtful enough to truly express their thoughts and feelings and SUPORT. While a very small number of people use this platform as a way to enforce their belief that the alcoholic deserves NO HELP because "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it." In the case of drinking and the effects of that I will agree 100% - however- in this situation, I believe that we all have to work together. Defensive? No, I will just never apologize or feel like I am less true to my program for being willing to help my husband overcome something that I feel is threatening his sobriety. At this point that is all he feels he has - his 10 months of sobriety...and that's a HUGE accomplishment.