Fourmaggie- I DO attend Al Anon - HOWEVER my husband and the father of my children is in a deep depression and I am concerned about him. Yes my post was about him....because my question was about him. And this may sound like I am doing it wrong, but there is nothing I won't do to help him through. That doesn't mean I will do it FOR him- I guess I was hoping that if anyone had been where I am right now I may get a post saying that Yes- this is what I went through- or no I didn't experience this- AL ANON has saved me- and my taking responsibility for ME has changed me forever, but that sure doesn't mean that I will not be an active partner to my husband who is hurting right now.