I had an excellent therapist who helped me during my first attempt at sobriety. He told me that it was very likely that I was abusing alcohol because of my underlying issues of anxiety and identity, and that, once those issues were resolved, it was very likely that I could drink moderately. I'm not sure if I didn't resolve the issues or if he was just wrong, but it doesn't matter. I feel pretty good about life in general - I think I have lingering depression and anxiety from some tragedies I've endured in life, but nothing abnormal or difficult on a daily basis, and still - I cannot drink with moderation. I can do lots of other things in moderation - eat and smoke, for instance, but I cannot drink. I've managed to rewire my brain in such a way that I, like you, can't stop once I start drinking. I was not a drunk every night person. I drank a few glasses of wine/beer a night over the course of 4-5 hours, never really getting drunk - just relaxed. But my binging behavior was becoming more frequent and I was not myself when I was drinking. And all day long, I would look forward to the dinner hour, when I'd get my first cocktail. And only now, in retrospect, do I see how controlled I was, and how "not getting drunk" every night did not mean I wasn't under the influence of alcohol every hour of every day.