Hey--go easy on yourself. If it is still nighttime where you are, just try to get through today, don't jump ahead to the rest of your life.
There is a lot of wonderful advice and support on SR. Hope you will stick around even if some of the posts make you uncomfortable.
One thing I've learned here is that people's ideas about their situation evolve as they learn more and think about where they are. Al-Anon seems to be particularly good in getting back a quality of life, whether you decide to leave or stay. Things can be better for you, even if your partner doesn't get better. This is great news, since you have no control over whether he gets better or not.
You don't need to panic about leaving or staying today! Hang in there. And keep posting and reading.
Danae