Hi there,
(((hugs))) to you across the ocean. I am so sorry for your anguish; I know it well. I was in a similar situation with my XABF over the past year. As others have said, the pain of loving an active alcoholic is excruciating, and you need all the support you can get.
I agree that you must educate yourself as much as you can about this affliction - not for him, but for you. As you will learn, alcoholism is progressive and devastating to body, mind and soul, and makes everyone who loves the A sicker and sicker, too.
But there is help, and there is hope, if you are willing to turn the energy and attention you are currently directing at him to YOURSELF.
You don't need to "let go" right now; if and when that time comes, you will know and you will be ready.
Meanwhile, your councilor, your friends and family, Alanon and SR can provide wisdom, compassion - and probably some very straight talk - to help get you through.
Keep posting and reading, it really helps.
SQ