What I have learned is that an A takes no responsibility for their action.
I tried to talk him out of the pub tonight over the phone as we had previously agreed on but he was unable to leave and got very agitated and angry with me no matter what I said.
From my experience something like what you describe above just gets worse and worse and it feeds the cycle because it allows the A in their mind to blame another for their continuing to drink.
Once I learned how to stay away from the cycle I could set my boundaries and leave the responsibility for whether or not my H drank to himself.
There's a lot of help out there for A's if they want it.
It's best for non-A's to focus on themselves. Alanon helps.
Have you tried it?
(((HUGS))) to you. I am sorry for your pain. It's not easy loving an A.