I am going to need to talk to a doctor tomorrow.
I've been splitting up one strip of the suboxone and taking it once or twice a day... just small amounts. I used up the remainder of one of the strips. I took my first piece Saturday night.
My Wife doesn't believe in the suboxone and says that I'm through the worst of the WD from Oxy but she doesn't have a clue what she is talking about. I know the Suboxone is masking the WD from Oxy and will create it's own beast down the line...
It's 3PM here right now. I took Suboxone at 10 PM last night (small amount) and tried to hold off as long as I could today. I had to go to the liquor store to buy cigarettes around 2PM today and I couldn't believe that the thought of SUICIDE even ran through my mind. I was in such a deep depression that when I returned I just sat in my car and contemplated driving it through my house (My brand new BMW which makes me even crazier).
I just took 2MG (guessing) of Suboxone and feel a lot better. Is this normal? What the hell is going on with me? Should I pump up the amount of Wellbutrin I'm taking? God this is so f**** up.
I'm tearing up while I type this. I can't believe I even had those thoughts when I know I have 3 little beautiful girls that depend on me.