Hello Mum, Welcome to SR!
The reason I searched the internet and found SoberRecovery one night was because of my stepson--who is an adult in his 30's.
My stepson was very good at telling other people why they were the problem when it was usually all the vodka, beer, and crack he was consuming. He was horribly verbally abusive to his entire family, and was cut off by almost everyone.
Only recently, after finally working to battle his demons, has he begun to communicate with and even spend time with some of the family members he hurt while drinking.
Please know, you don't have to take that kind of abuse--and make no mistake, it is abuse. What we had to do with 'Jr.' was to tell him that if he started to yell or be abusive on the phone we would end the call -- and we did. It took a few tries, but he finally understood we would not put up with it.
Welcome again, mum! I hope you will stick around. You will find plenty of support here! S