Originally Posted by
jkej 
He sees it my responsibility to sort us out a home etc, but i dont think it should be - should it? Hes really got no friends, hardly any family but he has pushed everyone away over the yrs. I kinda feel I "have to help him" as im the only thing hes got, but now im so fed up of him I dont wanna help him anymore
If you have not been told this in Alanon yet, I will tell you now: The A is NOT your responsibility. He is an adult. He makes his own choices, however bad they may be. Adults find and keep jobs. Adults figure out where to stay. Why should HE be exempt from these responsibilities and YOU are not? If he has "pushed everyone away over the years", then that is HIS problem. If you are "the only thing he's got", again, HIS problem, not YOURS. (And you know, there is a little thing called AA where he can have more friendship and help than he knows what to do with, if he chooses....)
A book often recommended here is "Codependent No More", by Melody Beattie. You might want to take a look for that (library will likely have it, otherwise easily available on Amazon) and see if it answers some questions for you. This thread might be good, too.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html