Hey everyone, glad to have found this site. Im in a marriage to an alcoholic husband, married for 2 yrs, been together 5.5 yrs, found out he had a problem 4yrs ago, been trying to "fix him" ever since. I started going to Al Anon last week and I have learnt I have been a huge enabler which Im disgusted at myself for being, but Ive had no experience of alcohol in my life before my husband came along so didnt know what i was doing (thought I was helping!)
Anyhow, to cut a long story short - hes fully away he has a problem, tried to stop in the past, before I came along and 4yrs ago. He got so bad then was off sick from work and said he couldnt return to work so I was paying the rent an supporting him until he did find work (9 months later) in a different country - so hence we are now living abroad. Now its all happening again - hes got so bad hes off sick from work and feel he cannot go back to work - if he doesnt go back we cannot stay in the country and would have to move back home, we have nothing there tho, neither of us have a job there or a house. My dad would take me in but not my hubby, his mum has said she cant take him in again (shes been picking up the pieces for yrs). She has offered to pay for his counseling treatment abroad and what ever it takes but he has to go back to work. He did go to one AA meeting the other day but cos his mum said he cant live with her then he went to the pub that afternoon!! after 4 days detox as well!!
Im really struggling - I feel I have to help him but i dont know how anymore, Im not sure if i want to stay with him or not, we dont have children which is a good thing and I can see this pattern happening again and again. If he doesnt go back to work in a week or so we cant stay in the country but he has nowhere to live back home. I know I need to stop the "rescue missions". He is depressed and suffers from anxiety (prob from all the drink!) Hes such a negative person and just keeps saying to me "whats gonna happen if i cant go back to work" I dont have any answers for him anymore. Im so filled with anger, resentment, frustration. I dont want him to not work, he gets so bored when not working (weekends etc) so that would be a receipe for disaster! Plus everyone has to work to live!
Just after some advice from anybody really
Thank you! Trying to keep smiling, but its very difficult!
