Originally Posted by
stickbyU 
We are more than ready to live together. Especially now that he is in a sober state of mind. He very much wants to live a better life, one of recovery and feels strongly that coming back to the environment he lived in and a high stress job would be his main stressors/triggers. We've been together for 8 years and were planning to move in together before all this happened. His addiction hadn't got to the point where he was stealing or on pills at work endangering his job but it got to the point where he knew exactly how many minutes it would take to get from work to his dealers house for his next high. His breaking point was a weekend drug binge that involved other drugs which caused him to fear for his life therefore coming to me asking for help because he knew he couldn't quit without professional help.
He has been offered numerous jobs and referrals for employment from his sponsor and others he's met while being there, and even willing to help him in getting back to school so he can get out of the career he's in (he works at a prison). They feel strongly that he should leave his old life behind as well and he is very serious about his recovery so he sees it as an opportunity he shouldn't pass up. Of course he's asked my opinion and wants me to do whatever I need to do for us to be together. He doesn't want to be selfish but knows I support his recovery completely.
I would definitely find a job, enroll in school and do all that before I would go. And I can find meetings and a therapist anywhere. We are the best of friends, the love of eachothers lives and we support each other, we just can't imagine a life apart, despite everyone Referring back to the 1 year rule.
I'm curious as to how your husbands recovery is going....has he been successful in working his program? What were the things you most struggled with?
From what you have shared, it sounds like you have a very strong and loving relationship - which is great ! Also sounds like you have both given it a lot of thought regarding school / career. Sounds to me like your both on the right track.
My husband has just over 16 months clean now. He is doing really well. A lot of people here have heard our story, but I will summarize for you. He had no past history and got started after a sports injury and several surgeries, physical therapy, being off work, getting frustrated.... neither of us really knew about drugs and I don't think he thought he would ever end up addicted. (I didn't) His addiction never got to the point of stealing or anything either, no legal trouble, he kept his career. Most of the problems were personal problems between us and other family / friends, and he spent a lot of $$ (We both wish we had back). He went to a non 12 step rehab that was based on private therapy, and he also learned cognitive /behavioral skills to help him overcome the addiction. When he came home he continued with the therapist, and he still does this. I also worked with a therapist and we started marriage counseling when he was in rehab.
He was lucky in that the only people he associated with that were part of the drug lifestyle were a group from his work. Before he went back to work, he was granted a transfer to another building location, and very rarely has interaction with that group anymore. I think going back to work and dealing with the stress was hard for him, just learning to handle his emotions - all of it without turning to something to numb himself, because he had done that for almost 2 years. Facing things he had done when he was using, relationships with family, was hard for him. He felt really guilty for what he did to our family (we have one son), and time he lost with him. Just from being off the drugs there were mood swings that came out of no where sort of, and we both just had to ride them out. When I first came to this site, he was in rehab. I was told the same thing about the one year rule, but his doctors and our therapist never suggested anything like that. I cant imagine our being apart that long, or keeping our son away - not when he was doing well,. and working hard to rebuild his life. It would have been different if he was very unstable/volatile, or maybe had to start from scratch learning life skills, and how to be a responsible citizen, etc. That's a quick summary, feel free to send me a p.message if you want to talk more in depth.
It is nice up by Prescott; they have the National Forest up there, and we have gone there for horseback riding and hiking. And your so right - it is cooler there !