I know exactly how you feel. I was going through that all last week. At one point, I was on my way to get high, but I was praying the whole time, and I ended up at the beach instead. I sat there for two hours just watching the birds and the water and the people. (Not creepy, I promise. Lol) I couldn't believe how vivid everything was. I hadn't seen life so clearly in so many years, that I felt like it was my first time on the planet. Then I walked. Simply walked. That, coupled with the beach, released that "feel good" chemical in my brain and I was able to get through the day, then the next, then by time I knew it, the whole week went by, and I was still clean and sober.
Sounds to me you're on recovery overload. That's totally normal. Taking a break and doing what you want for yourself is a good thing. Just don't drink or use. Anything else is fine. Maybe eat something yummy! Oooooh! That'll feel good.
Anyway, I'm pulling for you. Just know, you're not the only one who feels like sobriety is a joke, and we're better off drinking/using. But honestly, sobriety is amazing. And it does get better.
