I remember loads of times being 12-48 hrs into a never again , and then just the idea of buying a bottle would pop into my head and I would convince myself that since I had the idea I Had to act on it while promising myself after that particular bottle it was over. Man I did that a lot, so I think I know the feeling of your OP, but l after I found RR and AVRT things changed, especially my thinking , and my thinking about my 'thinking'. Check it out, it was the thing I needed.
wish you well