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Tired, Frustrated, and don't Know What to do Anymore

Old 08-28-2013, 08:50 AM
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Tired, Frustrated, and don't Know What to do Anymore

Hi all. I'm not new here. I've been trying to get sober for years. I just think I'm hopeless. The best I can do is manage sobriety for about four days. Then an evil force seems to take over my body, I become obsessed with alcohol and I can't rest until I have a drink in my hand, and I usually binge. I don't know who I think I'm kidding. I want to do this and can't. Any advice?
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:51 AM
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Have you tried any recovery programs?
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:54 AM
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Hi Lost - Welcome back. Do you have a plan? I find having a plan and ongoing support is what had helped keep me sober for the past 3 weeks. You CAN do this!
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:55 AM
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Try something different? I had to go to rehab the first time, I'm hoping to come out of my yearlong lapse without, but screw it, if I can't make it on my own I may have to do it again....
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:00 AM
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I would actually love to go to rehab. I am just scared, not for me, but for my kids, ages seven and three. I have my husband, but he works so, so many hours and I don't know who would care for the kids. I am a functioning alcoholic and manage to pull it off every day. What would a plan consist of? (Sorry if that is a very basic question, but I need one.) 90% of the time, I try to do this on my own. I've been to AA but I feel like an outsider, maybe I just never stuck with it long enough...I don't know.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:06 AM
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Try AVRT. You do need to have a plan. Between that and a lot of reading here on SR I've so far managed to get nearly 6 months sober. It's not easy, you do have to work at it. You can do it.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:09 AM
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Well, I tell ya, AA won't kill you but I find it a bit overwhelming too. Have you tried coming to the online meetings here? I went to one last night and liked it fine.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:33 AM
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Thank you for mentioning AVRT, I am most definitely going to check that out. And wow, I did not know there were meetings right on this site. What a great idea, especially for someone like me who has trouble getting out of the house because of the kids. I am so relieved that there are options.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:47 AM
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I remember loads of times being 12-48 hrs into a never again , and then just the idea of buying a bottle would pop into my head and I would convince myself that since I had the idea I Had to act on it while promising myself after that particular bottle it was over. Man I did that a lot, so I think I know the feeling of your OP, but l after I found RR and AVRT things changed, especially my thinking , and my thinking about my 'thinking'. Check it out, it was the thing I needed.
wish you well
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Old 08-28-2013, 11:13 AM
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I certainly can understand your concern for your children. BUt keep in mind that if you are indeed alcoholic, then you have a progressive illness. Left untreated, it will always get worse over time, never better. You may be able to pull it off every day now, but chances are it wont last. DO what you need to do to get yourself well. You and your family will be better for it.

AA was the route I took in order to recover. It worked wonders for me and has given me way more than just freedom from the drink. Many other people have used different methods of which I can not speak since I don't have any experience with them. But the bottom line is you ought to do whatever it takes to treat your alcoholism ASAP.

I wish you the best!
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Old 08-28-2013, 11:20 AM
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Post a thread when the evil forces come calling. Seems like someone is here around the clock, since we live all over the globe.
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Old 08-28-2013, 11:26 AM
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I have spent a lifetime seeking "self remedies"...food, cigarettes, alcohol. I had to come to the realization I couldn't keep trying to fix myself alone. I also had to realize I actually wasn't "alone". There are millions of others out there that share my illness..and who have changed their lives. I think connection and support is vital to recovery ..wherever you may find it. When I drank..I liked hanging out with drunks. When sober and in recovery, I choose to associate with others on that road.
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Old 08-28-2013, 11:42 AM
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Originally Posted by lostmyway View Post
Hi all. I'm not new here. I've been trying to get sober for years. I just think I'm hopeless. The best I can do is manage sobriety for about four days. Then an evil force seems to take over my body, I become obsessed with alcohol and I can't rest until I have a drink in my hand, and I usually binge. I don't know who I think I'm kidding. I want to do this and can't. Any advice?
“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.”
― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

This quote epitomizes the basic difference between success, and failure.

Alcohol isn't the problem.
"Evil forces" are not the problem.
Your thoughts are the problem!

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
Proverbs 23:7

We are no better than the thoughts we think. If we think up, we go up. If we think down, we go down. The choice is yours, and yours alone. No one but yourself can alter your condition. Realize this, and you will find strength.

Good luck and God Bless
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Old 08-28-2013, 12:03 PM
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You are not hopeless, you are sick. You have a disease.

Quitting was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. But I did it and so can you. I had to realize that I couldn't do it on my own. Can you find yourself an addictions counsellor? That is what I did. Best thing I ever did.
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Old 08-28-2013, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by AlefVavResh View Post
Seems like someone is here around the clock, since we live all over the globe.
Yes, a big plus for me. I have what some might describe as a "non-traditional" schedule, something I've been able to build through much of my career, and it works very well for me.

I've gotten into the habit of reading the comments here late at night before going to bed, and then checking in at various times during the day. I haven't been working regularly for about a month in preparation for and then recovering from surgery I'll be getting busy again after Labor Day.

Reading about all the suffering people are struggling with has helped me to be increasingly grateful for how far I've come. Being able to help someone "after hours" is a good thing too.

This is truly a remarkable place, no matter where you are in your recovery.
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Old 08-28-2013, 01:29 PM
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My plan consisted of reading some great books and eventually finding SR. I have struck a balance that works for me and I have never failed to be inspired when I come here and read.
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Old 08-28-2013, 02:29 PM
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good to see you again lostmyway

I don;t believe anyones hopeless - but I found I kinda underestimated the work and commitment I'd need to stay sober.

I needed to change a lot of things in my life...supports very important too.

the race is not over...it's just beginning - you can do this

D
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Old 08-30-2013, 08:32 AM
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Thank you everyone. Lady in BC, I cried when I read what you wrote: I am not hopeless, I have a disease. I couldn't understand how I could fight so hard and be defeated, literally over a hundred times. I have other issues in addition to alcoholism - bipolar and fibromyalgia. While I realize this is not the place to discuss those, I just wanted to say that I was in denial about both until I went ahead with treatment and started getting better. This alcoholism must be the same. If I've made progress with my other issues, maybe I can do this, too. Thank you.
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