Welcome Sherman, you have some heavy stuff going on, but there's no reason why you can't turn things around. I'd suggest AA meetings if you haven't tried AA before. Even if you don't feel you would use AA long term, you should at least check it out. You will at least be around sober people.
Regarding the incident that happened when you were younger; have you addressed this with therapy or counseling? That would be a heavy burden to carry around. God I hate hearing stories like that. And I hope you know you weren't at fault.
Anyway, stick around. Many of us are in the early stages of recovery. Many of us have slipped and then recommitted, so you are not alone.