dear patsy, while browsing new posts i happened on this thread. i am so glad close call started this post, and all of u replied. patsy, ur post really gave me insight into my husbands illness and the impact on him and the patterns established. by reading ur post it touched my heart and removed some of my bitterness towards past events. i needed to let go of those thoughts and judgements to progress in my recovery. my husband isn't verbally adept and so full of pain that i'm sure he couldn't tell anyone what and how his drinking reached this level. he does continue to reject aa, but even though he does, i can try to leave his recovery alone, and respect his path. urwords were comfort to me on a morning that i didn't even know that i nneeded to hear those words. u are all my hp working to help me. thanks so much, and close call thank u for starting the thread!!hugs from sugar