Nuudawn

I hesitate to respond to this post for a variety of reasons..but look at me still doing it anyway (still working on my impulse control : )

Why does your boyfriend take care of you? Are you incapacitated in some way? I'm sorry but something bout that statement troubles me. Geepers, I feeling a bit feisty today...I best sign out for awhile after this.

I am not a member of AA. I was before and not now. I picked up some tools there and certainly recognize its benefits and the whys and such. There are still many different aspects to my recovery though..and that's important to me. I too was not physically dependent on alcohol and suffered no withdrawal etc. I do not have the benefit of knowing that much about you Eleni..like how much or how long you drank and what consequences you suffered as a result. For me, alcohol was incredibly symptomatic of a whole hornets nest of stuff I have to address in recovery. I use recovery in the broadest sense. If you don't want to do the steps don't do them..but recognize they exist for a reason. I have a feeling they are simply a map to help you look at "your stuff". I look at "that stuff" with a therapist. I also have SR to keep me in check. I do a ton of reading on recovery and I get tremendous comfort and guidance from my source of spiritual nurturance.

I am a little up the way on sober road than you (but not much) and I had a craving almost blindside me last night...at 80 days. I have actually only had two serious cravings to manage since I quit in early June...and I did struggle a week or two in..not with a craving so much but I just wanted to maybe crawl back under the rock of denial and be a drunkard again and not DEAL.

Whatever you do..just ensure you have some tools in place when and if cravings occur. Recovery for me is not about just not drinking. Not drinking helps me recover and figure out what led me to the drinking mess in the first place...which was for me..my snakey mind with all its darkness, and lostness and foreign territory. It was my patterns of behaviour and thinking and well....well walked wrong paths. I'm breaking new trail..and I need many allies.