Originally Posted by
LuLu13 
I feel like I am beating up on you which is not my intent :-) All questions asked with love and caring. Did you not post the other day about being in pain and having urges to do a few shots of brandy? Also, if you drank everyday for 13 years was it just to get drunk? No underlying causes? Resentments? Etc. I am not pushing AA, I attend a few meetings a week and am not sure what part AA will play in my longtime recovery. Once I got past the detox I have had only one craving and it passed quickly. So far I am not finding this difficult but my number one fear is becoming complacent and cocky, I know where that will lead me. Just food for thought, you need to do whatever works for you.
1) No, I don't believe I said I had
urges per se to do a few shots of brandy. I merely said the thought very fleetingly crossed my mind about taking brandy to get rid of the horrible pain. But I had no cravings or urges whatsoever. And the thought was gone as fast as it came. I ended up going to the doctor to get pain pills in case that thought came back again.
2) Yes, I drank every day for 13 years just to get drunk and the last 3 years to get rid of chronic pain. I have no underlying causes or resentments. Nor was I trying to escape from anything. I had a great job that I loved, 4 wonderful children who all turned out great, had a great childhood and got along well with my parents and no problems or resentments that I can think of. God blessed me in that regard. I will say there is a 75 year old lady in AA who has been sober for 30 years and she said too that she had no issues or resentments or underlying problems as she had a great childhood and wonderful husband.
3) I don't believe I am being cocky or complacent about my recovery. I know 27 days is nothing compared to a lot of people on here that have several years of sobriety. The last time I quit drinking was 15 years ago and I quit for 2 years before I relapsed and did not attend AA meetings at that time. However, the reason I quit the first time was because my husband at the time threatened to divorce me if I didn't quit drinking. I didn't do it for myself. He ended up divorcing me anyway 2 years later and that's when I fell off the wagon. This time I am doing this for myself. There was absolutely no pressure from my family to quit. As a matter of fact, they thought I didn't have that big of a problem. But I was totally honest with them how bad my alcoholism is/was.
I am just speaking the truth as to how I feel at the moment (i.e. not struggling, no craving, no depression & no anxiety).
I know you say these things because you are concerned and care, but please trust me when I say that I will definitely seek help if I get any urges that are more than a fleeting thought as well as feeling as if I have no control to not act on the urges.