Leshar & Ladybug, I am finding too that some days just aren't all that great, and I just have to get through them. Usually by the next day (as long as I don't drink) I feel so much better. I thought of something this morning on my ride to work, which is only about 5 minutes, and pretty much my only time of the day that I am actually ALONE. Anyway, I was feeling so calm and ready for the day, and I thought back to how I felt when I was drinking.
If I was just drinking moderately and not terribly hungover, life was just stagnant. Same old thing everyday- work, drink, not a great night's sleep, sluggish the next day.
If I was really on a roll drinking, then the hangovers would be a nightmare, and life would just be a struggle to get through. The guilt and secrecy over my drinking would consume me and I would feel myself going downhill with no way out.
Sober...Every day is an open opportunity for something good. I feel like am growing, on a journey, doing something good for myself. Thinking of it this way makes me realize that if I did drink today or tomorrow, even 2-3 beers, I would lose this feeling of growth and clarity with that first sip.
Misteritter...you are right! The most stress I have in my life and in my mind right now is thinking about drinking..will I or won't I? Not all the time, but enough to keep me slightly anxious and on edge a few times through the day. It's a matter of not trusting myself. Hopefully this will go away down the road for us.
Looking forward to my cozy bed on this stormy night. Day 33. Keep it up everyone, you are all doing great
