Glad you came back and resurrected your original thread so that we can see a time lapsed picture!
You are taking some positive steps!! Go with it!! When we can't get someone else to do what we want them to do, we have the choice to continue to bang our heads against the wall trying to control them....OR......we can begin to take control of those things we do have control over.....ourselves. You're doing that! Good for you!
One of the toughest things I have had to realize in dealing with an addicted ex-husband and an addicted adult son is that I have choices.......and I don't always like the choices I have....but they are choices none the less. At some point in time (and this applies to me not necessarily to you) I had to face the fact that I had stopped being a victim and become a volunteer.
It is very hard to be in a relationship with someone who is in active addiction. When (or if) they choose to get clean and sober, there is a chance of having a good relationship. My AXH is still using 30 years after our divorce.....there is no chance at a relationship with him. None. He is angry and bitter and blames me for all that has gone wrong in his life. My son is currently clean and sober (nine months) and is a very different person from the person he was in active addiction.
Is there hope? Yes but my hope had to involve making myself better.....not making the people around me better.
Take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke