Right before I read this post I was walking and thinking, I am not ready to quit drinking. Drinking isn't my DOC and I like to drink. I was fake too for way too long, and I am still on the fence of F it, I can' drink, then next moment if I allowed myself one bottle of wine wouldn't be enough, or I would have two then call my coke dealer. My issue is nothing is ever enough. NOTHING. I am proud of you for being honest. SUPER PROUD. THat is also a sign you want to stop this crap and you feel guilty for doing what you did. I have also had my share of getting high of cough medicine, shoot for some time I was drinking two bottles of wine and having two bottles of cough medicine. My first stop home from work would be to buy two bottles of both. GROSS>
All you can do is try man. Really. You are super young. You obviously wanted to quit for a reason? That is something I have to keep telling myself, if I could drink socially then why do I keep thinking its a problem? Is stealing and using medicine in the bathroom a problem? HUGE. I think maybe your AV voice is still super strong, and when it was awake you acted on it, then used, then felt guilty...we all have been there.
Don't be like me 35 and been struggling for almost 15 years.......now I look back and think how I was 15 and left my strong group of good friends for a group that liked to get high. That is when my AV voice woke up. The only way to make the voice go away is to stop using.