Originally Posted by
FallenAlien 
Also the part with people pretending to be happy, even on here I feel like most people here are just miserable and trying to find happiness. Maybe it's just my cynical perspective, I'm not sure.
Being sober isnt that great yet, but being at the end of a using cycle is worse.
Yep, yep. And yep.
It bugs me when I hear someone say "I live in Seattle and I'm hiking in the hills and my wife is working in the garden and I'm making fresh caught salmon for dinner ooo-lala it's great".
Thing is, I don't have a wife and a garden. I have a hotel room at O'Hare International. And I have mounting bills and not much work. The only conversations I've had today are with vendors and it's all been small talk. I'm not struggling with drinking, nor do I want to (over a year sober) but by God sometimes I wonder when that magical reward comes - I often want to scream:
when do I get my PAYCHECK for BEING SOBER???
But, like you also said, it's better than being drunk and being in this position. I'm a better man today than I was a year ago. That's at least something. And I think we have to remember that good days and bad days are part of life for everyone, not just us drunks and addicts.
Good luck Jake, do what you can. Stay clean. It might not be all roses and unicorns and naked ladies on this side of the fence, but it's much better than being in a bathroom huffing cooking spray. I can attest to that.