Jake, the fact you were honest in your post here, and that you are struggling with your decisions says volumes about progress you've made. I also have had a hard time with the religious aspect of NA, but no one system IMO is perfect for anyone, but try and take what works for YOU. Try looking into other groups (I find smart techniques make much more sense to me personally).
There will always be battles, and unfortunately our addictions will always be right behind us. Life is never easy for long, but getting through tough times sober, makes it that much sweeter on the other side.
Try and hang in there, and don't be too hard on yourself, you are doing the right thing by being honest with yourself and others.
It's worth it, and the longer you keep at it the more that will seem believeable.
CH