Originally Posted by
FallenAlien 
Also the part with people pretending to be happy, even on here I feel like most people here are just miserable and trying to find happiness. Maybe it's just my cynical perspective, I'm not sure.
Being sober isnt that great yet, but being at the end of a using cycle is worse.
Life is tough. It's also full of beauty. I'm miserable quite a bit. But that's because I lost a lot! When I feel down on myself I remind myself I'm a much better person. Now. I have lots of guilt from when I was using. I let my bottom get really low. So when I'm feeling down I remind myself how far I've come. I have my own place that I take care of, I have food to eat, I have heat when it's cold outside, I have ac when it's hot outside. Sometimes you just need to give yourself an attitude adjustment. Easier said than done sometimes.
Jake thank you for honesty in this post. I see you're not happy with the decisions you're making. You are so young. I'm not familiar with any consequences you've had from using. But you're here telling us of your problem so I urge you to stop now. It's going to get so much worse.