Originally Posted by
jakec 
I was sitting in an NA meeting today thinking "this is all bullsh*t, there is no god, you people aren't really happy". I'm so angry at myself.
Hi Jake, I don't go to NA but I go to AA and I can assure you that I feel mostly content and balanced and so do many people in the rooms. The key is to surrender and realize that you are finished with it, it's over and to be ok with it.
Once you accept that you can never drug again, it will be easier for you.
As far as GOD is concerned, try thinking of it as Good Orderly Directions if you have problems conceptualizing a higher power.
Good Orderly Directions such as: Don't pick up the first drug no matter what, find a home group, network with people and if you are feeling edgy call them and go to a meeting etc.
So to put the first 3 steps taking the Christian GOD out of the equations:
Step 1: admit you are an addict and that your life is unmanageable (stealing cold medicine for example)
Step 2: Believe that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity (the people in your meetings who have some serious clean time and give you suggestions, if you follow those you won't be sniffing gasses from cans)
Step 3: Decide to turn over you will to the care of God as you understand it...turn yourself over to the good orderly directions from people who are successful not using.
Good luck