Forums are in reality a miserable format for some things. I was not sure whether I would write in this thread.
Acheleus it is extremely unfair that life sometimes sends us the hardest struggles when we are children or young, it is not right and it is not fair.
If I could sent you some magic words to help you I would. If I thought giving up would bring you happiness, you would have my full support.
There is way to much fighting will in your writing to that I in any way believe it to be an option.
I did not read this about alcohol as such – I am sure you know that alcohol is a bad short time solution and miserable long time solution.
Van Zandt was a fine artist but he is moving in the area between dark thoughts and hopelessness. Stay away from such things now, believe me there is nothing there. There is nothing to be found, not where you are right now.
I do hope the best for you.