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Old 08-17-2013, 08:41 AM
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Nothin

Hey mama, when you leave
Don't leave a thing behind
I don't want nothin'
I can't use nothin'

Take care into the hall
And if you see my friends
Tell them I'm fine
Not using nothin'

Almost burned out my eyes
Threw my ears down to the floor
I didn't see nothin'
I didn't hear nothin'

I stood there like a block of stone
Knowin' all I had to know
And nothin' more
Man, that's nothin'

As brothers our troubles are
Locked in each others arms
And you better pray
They never find you

Your back ain't strong enough
For burdens doublefold
They'd crush you down
Down into nothin'

Being born is going blind
And bowing down a thousand times
To echoes strung
On pure temptation

Sorrow and solitude
These are the precious things
And the only words
That are worth rememberin'


-Townes Van Zandt



Goodbye guys. Keep chasin after that happiness. I'm done. Thank you for all the help.
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:49 AM
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Done with what Ach?
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:53 AM
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Just tired of trying to be something I'm not.
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:55 AM
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What is it that you think that you're not?
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:59 AM
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I'm sorry, I don't usually post over here-only on Substance Abuse. However, I hope you reconsider and stick around with all these wonderful people offering you support and shared struggles.

Being something you're not, is allowing alcohol or drugs to inhibit your natural talents and self. I wish you well!
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Old 08-17-2013, 09:00 AM
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If you think going back to drinking is who you are, you've never been more wrong about anything in your life Ach. Everything you think drinking will somehow fix will actually get worse, far worse. That is the only guarantee
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Old 08-17-2013, 09:07 AM
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Acheleus, I'm sad to read this post and hope you make your way back here. It sounds like that AV is a wailing siren today. I really wish that you had stayed here and read the return posts and let us help you work through it.

Whether you want to believe it or not you can do this, you really can. You're giving in and giving up so easily.

Do you really want to quit drinking?
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Old 08-17-2013, 09:48 AM
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Don't go Ach.

You can do this. There are countless stories of people on SR who have slipped and got back up again, people who have faced adversity in their past and present lives and who refuse to allow addiction to ruin their futures.

I look to those who have successfully walked that path and believe I can do it too. Building a new sober life isn't easy...no-one tells us it will be. But it is definitely possible.

I believe it. Please give it another try x
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Old 08-17-2013, 10:06 AM
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Acheleus. Please reconsider. This is not the way to go. You are moving into the wrong direction. I am giving you my compass for awhile, and you can use it. We can walk together with everyone else. What happened A?
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Old 08-17-2013, 10:12 AM
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We are all trying to be something we aren't yet. Most people (and especially people here on SR) aren't "there" yet...

It's ok to change and better yourself. Even if you don't see much progress yet.

But it all starts with staying sober, and stringing the days together... and there is nothing wrong with you using SR to do that.

Hope you stay.
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Old 08-17-2013, 10:26 AM
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Don't go just yet.

The you that you think you aren't could be right around the corner waiting with arms open. Let us help you find that person...I think you'd like each other!!!

Hope you are reading and I hope you reconsider!!!!!
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Old 08-17-2013, 11:05 AM
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Don't give up ach! You can do it!
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Old 08-17-2013, 11:17 AM
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Acheleus...you...the actually YOU doesn't want to go anywhere. That's my thinking. YOU posted goodbye because YOU wanted the push back. Really? You are going to let addiction win? Argh...words fail me. How many more years do you want to avoid what you must go through? You need to deal with that abusive brain of yours...now. Damn...I don't have the words. Because as much as I want you to hang in there...you are the only one who can make this decision. You have to want sobriety and well, it sounds like you don't
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Old 08-17-2013, 01:21 PM
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Eeek..I didn't mean my post to be interpreted as Acheleus attention seeking. I think the still small sober self needed to come here and say something in hopes someone would talk some sense. I am really afraid of your decision to "go back out" Acheleus...but there's nothing I can do. You have been fighting really, really hard...since the very beginning but it's been such a hard fight for you. I know you're tired...words fail me. I can't give you confidence in sobriety..no one can. We can root for you...support you. But you're mind has to believe in sobriety..has to believe that it holds the answers for you. I fear it is leaning in the other direction..the scales are tipped the wrong way. You feel the answers are in the dark. I am very, very very sad to see you go. You have no idea how sad.
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Old 08-17-2013, 01:34 PM
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Acheleus. I look forward to the interactions that I have with you on here. I think we all need one another to get well. Some days are better than others. All of the advice that has been given to you is for your health.
What happened to the medication for your depression? Why are you not seeing your therapist? Do not throw everything away. We all have pain. The idea is to work through the problems and not compound them with drinking. Please reconsider. You have many people who are trying to help you, but you are the only one who can really do it.
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Old 08-17-2013, 01:36 PM
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This is spot on...most of us haven't known our real self for most of our adult lives...it's been tucked away behind the drunken sludge in our brains. One thing is for sure tho, it's got to be better than the old life, filled with black outs, embarrassment, remorse and losing days to feeling sick and tired etc.

Originally Posted by SoberJennie View Post
We are all trying to be something we aren't yet. Most people (and especially people here on SR) aren't "there" yet...

Hope you stay.
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Old 08-17-2013, 02:32 PM
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Forums are in reality a miserable format for some things. I was not sure whether I would write in this thread.

Acheleus it is extremely unfair that life sometimes sends us the hardest struggles when we are children or young, it is not right and it is not fair.

If I could sent you some magic words to help you I would. If I thought giving up would bring you happiness, you would have my full support.

There is way to much fighting will in your writing to that I in any way believe it to be an option.

I did not read this about alcohol as such – I am sure you know that alcohol is a bad short time solution and miserable long time solution.

Van Zandt was a fine artist but he is moving in the area between dark thoughts and hopelessness. Stay away from such things now, believe me there is nothing there. There is nothing to be found, not where you are right now.

I do hope the best for you.
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Old 08-17-2013, 02:33 PM
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First you tell me I have to stop drinking. Then you tell me I have to suffer through withdrawal symptoms that are worse than my worst nightmare -- and for an indefinite period of time. And THEN you tell me I have to work at being sober every single day until I don't have to work at it every single day anymore?!

Thanks, but no thanks.

Sadly, the story too often ends this way. Until the next time. Or never again.

Everyone who's achieved long-term sobriety has felt what you've described at some time or another. Everyone.
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Old 08-17-2013, 02:54 PM
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Ach - don't give up. It always ends the same. Shame, embarrassment and regret.

Find yourself.

Then decide if you want to be sober more than you want to be drunk.

Only you know the answer to that. Only you know your truth. Be honest with yourself.

I wish you the best as you struggle to beat this beast. Some will win, some will lose. I think you are a winner.
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Old 08-17-2013, 02:59 PM
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Acheleus, don't give up! What happened to that high you experienced from teaching? How great was it to reconnect with your brother? Those are wonderful things that were the result of your sobriety. Focus on the positives, it can only get better. We want you here!

Last edited by LuLu13; 08-17-2013 at 03:10 PM. Reason: typo
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