Originally Posted by Nuudawn

(((Hi Ready))) You know, for me I figured out that alcohol was a way for me to tolerate the intolerable..sometimes jobs and sometimes relationships. Alcohol kept me stagnant and spinning my wheels in a general feeling of complaint I needed to stifle. I celebrated my pity party every night when I opened that bottle (bottles) of wine.

Sobriety turns on the lights. We've been so long in the dark that at first its kinda painful. We squint and put our hands to our eyes until they adjust. I know early in my sobriety (as in the first few weeks...I'm still early in sobriety at 2+ months)..when my eyes were squinty I almost longed for a return to denial. I wanted to go back to being a couch mushroom with my wine....but I didn't.

For me, sobriety is all about finding my voice..and actually learning to have faith and confidence and trust in it. Until I find it and listen to it...no one else will. Sometimes I feel like a diver who was lost in the depths...but I'm on way up...I see the light at the top of the water..I'm almost there..it keeps getting bigger and brighter : )