Hello cleaninLI, and welcome to this corner of SR
Originally Posted by
cleaninLI 
... Are these characteristics of ACOAs?...
Certainly are. We have a short list of characteristics in the sticky posts at the top of this forum.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-children.html
If you browse thru the self-help section of your local bookstore you will find longer lists with many more characteristics.
The name "Adult Children of Alcoholics" was created back in the ealy 80's, when alcoholism was the only addiction studied in depth by the public health community. Things have progressed since then and you will find many groups, and books, listed as "Adult Children of Alcoholics or Dysfunctional Families".
Which is my long-winded way of saying that it sounds to me like you are one of us
Mike