I, too, came looking for ways to help my daughter - worried sick and desperate for answers.
I don't say much, but I read a LOT, and what I learned was that there was no fixing her, only me.
If, by that miracle, she turns her life around and there is no longer an imminent crisis taking over her life and the sun rose every morning on a sober, healthy young woman that is my precious girlie, I would STILL come here...because...
Her addiction - which was not MY idea - has still affected MY life in such a way as to make me almost useless. I have succumbed to the torture that is having a child in a deadly addiction, and lost myself in the process.
There is a wound in my heart - and though the attacker pulled out the knife and the surgeon stitched up the hole, it still hurts, and there's a scar that will be with me the rest of my life. The extreme pain might go away a bit, but the experience will have left me traumatized and I will need help dealing with that.
That's the horrible thing for those of us on the side-lines - we are collateral damage and stuck with the consequences of PSTD, too. Especially if your addict is your child.