Well what I was taking away from it was maintain the lines of common courtesy. For me, the lines between detachment and enabling are kind of blurred so, anything that clarifies that for me is appreciated. I don't agree with the "dog training aspect" either, I don't want to be married to a trained poodle any more than I want to be married to an AH, but where it struck home with me was you can still say thank you for doing a chore but you don't have to thank them for not being a drunken jerk. If that makes any sense. I've personally taken the approach of ignoring the addiction and instead addressing the behaviors that are unacceptable regardless of the reasoning behind them. Kind of like "Honey, getting upset and stomping your feet is not ok just because........" insted of "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A FREAKING CHILD YOU DRUNKEN FOOL.". I'm exagerating but not by much.