Sounds like your fantasies of who she was and what you "expected" to have together got stirred up big time!
Someone here recently said that we start needing to use denial early on in rships with A's in order to focus on the good stuff and blot out the bad. It really rang true for me. So your fantasy got stirred up and it IS very hard coming back to reality.
I find it goes in waves...and they get less frequent and less intense over time. For *me* it's been a frustratingly long time but it relates to FOO issues and our past history of loss and denial/fantasy/other coping mechanisms.
A helpful book or two:
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing
How to Break Your Addiction to a Person
I should add that you just need to FEEL those feelings...that's what I was referring to when I made the wave analogy.