Interestingly what struck me from your story was that you tried to be something you weren't, to 'fit in' with your adopted AA pose and your corporate persona, but in the end you couldn't deny who you are and what you are feeling. And to me that's a good thing. You are uniquely you and experiencing your own unique life and, since you are a man of God, you are exactly as God intended you, perfect in his eyes despite what you struggle with. The people listening at AA will benefit from seeing the genuine you, just as much as you will benefit from expressing the genuine you. I'm glad you found inspiration from your friend, that is a gift indeed.