I have been allowing myself to mourn but wow it hit me hard this weekend. I realize we go through the grieving stages multiple times but I do feel this is a little excessive...
In conversation I have mentioned that she drinks too much for me, the drinkers all go hrmm... my friends that aren't big drinkers instantly know what I'm talking about it and say it out loud "oh you mean she's an alcoholic". I don't feel bad that I've said that. Maybe it's not my place but whatever. I do need to do a better job of shutting the F up about her for my own sake.
What I do need help is in getting myself in check. I agree with you I need to get grounded in reality, my mind has floated somewhere fantastical.