ZenMe

Hi all,

I've been super busy and haven't been on the forums lately. A lot of strong feelings came back after backpacking (beautiful river hiking) over the weekend with friends that my xagf and I have in common. She has been dating some new guy RIGHT after we broke it off and they are already doing camping trips together including her 2 boys. I always felt it was better to not bring the kids into the relationship early on so I kept my distance on that front.

What do you guys think about the kids part? I'm curious about it in general not just in my x's case. If I ever date a woman with kids again.

I also really REALLY missed not having her there to share a wonderful experience with. I miss laughing, relaxing, being close, best friend etc. I am truly hurting now, not quite sure why it's hitting me so hard now. I basically feel like my gut has been sliced and I'm bleeding on the ground. I have been crying up a storm and in the past 2+ months I haven't been even able to imagine myself touching another woman let alone being interested. My birthday is also on the horizon.

On another note I also talked about this past relationship with a friend of mine on the long drive back home. I feel like I need to shut up about it already but I'm also trying to be "vulnerable" in talking it out. Maybe at this point I just have to man up but wth is this? Why is this dragging for me?

Thanks for reading and any advice is appreciated. I figure I just have to weather the storm, but damn I have never felt this intense after a relationship or my memory is failing me with an optimum-bias looking back.