Originally Posted by
lillamy 
Well... When you change, he may change. And I don't mean in a see the error of his ways and get sober way
When I decided to leave (and had a plan and a timeline) my attitude to him changed. I truly let everything go. Because I really didn't care anymore. And it infuriated him and he really cranked up his abusive side something wicked.
So eyes open, head held high, and stow away in the back of your mind that circumstances may propel you into action sooner than you anticipate.
Yes...I absolutely hear that. I do have some concern for my safety upon leaving. I'm invited to stay with his family should I need to but I fear he will harass me or worse, and them too. With a very young child living there, I don't like that. I'd rather go where he has no idea where I am. But, if need be, in a pinch I can go stay there.
In the past he has verbalized changes seen in me. In my eyes. If I ever do anything now to "make peace" it is not about me trying to make myself feel better or trying to hold onto hope. It is about just keeping the situation as calm as I can for my own well being.
Thank you for the reminder because it is important that I don't change too much noticeably. While I absolutely know and understand that, sometimes in the moment I forget.
Peace.