nbay, just know that we love you, we care about you. You have family now. We'll help you back up when you fall, and we will tend to your wounds.
I do understand that you felt that you had to do that, but it is similar to trying to get empathy from a rock. Perhaps you needed that to quicken closure for yourself. I would hate to say how many times I did that.
((((((((((hugs)))))))))) we will help you through this.