Thank you for all the great insight.
To jazzfish: I wish my AH would do just that, this is what I would expect him to do, this is what I asked him to do but he will not do this on his own, so I have to do what needs to be done and that pi$$'s me off. Sorry.
My head knows all this, it's clear as water, simple? Not really. I know I'm right, I know he has a problem, I don't need more proof. He won't change his habits unless he wants to and gets help to do so. I know he's using my shortcomings and "lack of support" as reasons to continue drinking and to deflect responsibility.
I'll continue going forward. I'm looking at places to stay, I'm arranging my finances, I've spoken to friends, they are supportive. I keep coming here. I'll try to stay focused on what is good for my kids and I.
He said he has stopped drinking for good, well we'll see. He's starting his vacation tonight.