Hey Ricky, so sorry about this for you...I know how it feels. As everyone else has said, pick yourself up, dust off, and get going again.
I do think that Nuudawn's questions are good ones, though. I know for me, I eventually had to figure out what exactly kept triggering me to drink even after I got some decent (well, in my case three or four days was decent..) time going and why I just couldn't seem to stop. It took a lot of soul searching that I really didn't want to do but that's eventually what led me to make decisions that made it stick (so far). A huge amount of those decisions were about finally admitting I needed outside help. That I couldn't do it myself. And I can be one very, very stubborn and prideful person so this was NOT an easy thing for me. AT ALL.
So what was it about those 19 days? Were you white-knuckling it? If not, then what was keeping you sane and sober? Do you still do any NA? Can you come here first and post before using?
And how about getting rid of your dealer's number, friend...once and for all?
You know eventually that you will kick this thing, it's just a question of when.
Thinking of you as always and sending you a huge hug and lots of strength today
