Amy, thank you for thinking of me. I'm doing well. Trying to put the focus back on my program. Last night AH walked in on me while I was in the den and I was listening to a church sermon online and had my Bible out. I was sitting there thinking of the irony of the situation because during our 'talk' AH had told me that I don't even believe in the Old Testament of the Bible, yet there I was sitting there with my Bible open to the story that our pastor was speaking on. I turned AH away and told him I wanted to finish the sermon before we spoke and that was huge for me. AH is always used to me dropping everything when he enters the room if he needs to talk.
I appreciate everything you've said and love the word 'spunky', LOL. A few months ago at an Al Anon meeting I got up and spoke(it was a topic meeting and we usually get up and stand at the podium because it's a group of about 50 people) and a woman came up to me afterwards and told me that I reminded her of Phoebe from the TV sitcom Friends. And, another older woman joined in and said, "Yes, she is always so dang happy." I remember thinking, "God, please don't help me lose my joy even if my life sucks right now." For some unknown reason, I truly do have happiness and joy in my heart despite what goes on in my home and maybe that's why I am able to stay? I don't know, LOL, but for some unknown reason to me, God has blessed me with the ability to feel depressed and sad at times but to not suffer from debilitating depression. I wake up every morning happy even if I went to bed angry or sad the night before. It's like I have this magical way of sleeping it off and ready for a fresh start the next day.
But, as Dandylion said, I sure do complain about the man a lot so that's a character defect I really need to work on. A lot of it is about 'validation' and some of it is needing comforting to know that I am not alone. Anyway, thank you all for your feedback and support! Love you all!